I am so happy you are here! These blogs typically start with a line about how even looking for therapy is a huge first step (it is), and how I am here to help (I am). But if you made it this far, you have probably already read most of my other website content, which expresses these exact sentiments. Instead, I thought area this was better used to tell you a little more about me and how I became a therapist.
I play a lot of roles in life. I am a husband and step-father, dog dad, son, brother, friend, therapist – probably like you, more roles than are worth listing. I have good days and bad days; I get frustrated in traffic and I get behind on chores. I’ve lived a couple of lives already, and I am venturing into a new one dedicated to helping people who are struggling with things I’ve also struggled with.
This chapter is the most exciting one yet. I have finally found a profession that I am fully passionate about in every sense. I feel like I have the autonomy to put my time and effort into work helping others. I get the opportunity to give back to the community that has given me so much. I am energized, focused, and dedicated. I am ready.
Getting to this point wasn’t easy. When I graduated college in 2007, it was just one year before the housing market and economy collapsed. I got my degree in Philosophy, which is on its own largely unemployable. There were no jobs for recent college graduates, and my first opportunity ended in a layoff 8 months after it started. I bartended for work in college, so I went back to that. To earn extra money while I was bartending, I worked as a construction laborer. I learned a ton of valuable skills from carpentry to tile to basic plumbing. It was hard work, but worth every second for the learning opportunity. After a couple of years of being a part-time construction worker and part-time drink slinger, I moved into Kansas City to start full-time in restaurants, thinking I might leave construction behind. I worked at places that were great, and places that were terrible. I had bosses – good and bad – and learned lessons from each of them. I promoted into management and menu creation. I burned out. I quit.
I worked some connections and found myself in an entry-level role in a construction office, getting out of the field and learning the operations side. I moved up the ladder, added responsibilities. Nearly 10 years, 3 employers, and 7 title changes later I found myself in corporate construction management. It was exciting, challenging, and entirely too stressful. I loved my team, I loved being a manager, but I hated the work of it. Countless meetings, demanding travel schedules, after hours engagements, budget discussions, you name it – it all kept me away from team-building and leadership. I wasn’t able to help my staff grow. There were too many corporate barriers, there was way too much red tape. I wanted to find a way to do the work I loved all of the time – helping others grow and develop, helping them navigate challenges.
There had always been a thought in the back of my mind that I wanted to return to school to be a therapist. Like it was for you, 2020 was incredibly transformative to my perspective, my goals, and my autonomy for how I could spend my time. By the end of that year, I knew I didn’t want to live in Corporate America for another 30+ years just to barely get by. I knew I was sick of wasting my time chasing things for other people, and I wanted to take my energy and do something better with it.
That led me to Avila University, where I enrolled and completed my Master of Counseling Psychology. There, I learned theories, counseling skills, diagnosis, treatment planning, and a host of other things that aren’t relevant for this writing. I practiced. I made it through internship. All along the way it was a challenge. Graduate School is hard, life happens, and there are never enough hours in the day. It was during these challenges, during the most difficult days, that I was reminded of why I was doing it. I craved helping people. I was invested in them. Every opportunity to quit made me feel stronger about continuing. I made the right choice. (Special shout-out to my wife and my family – their support and endless encouragement kept me going on the toughest of tough days, and they were always there to pick me up when I fell apart.)
So that leads us to today. I am here, a Licensed Counseling Psychologist, in my own practice, doing things on my terms. I get to truly help people in need, without miles of red tape or approvals to deal with. Sure, insurance can be tricky, and I will always honor the ethical codes and state regulations associated with this license. But I no longer have to go through 3 levels of HR approval to try and assist someone with a problem. I don’t have to make a 4-hour sales pitch to try something different than what we did the week before. I just get to help people in need, when they need it, to the best of my ability. It is hard work, and there isn’t anything I would rather be doing.
I know that I need to have some balance in my life. It is what I will tell you when you are a client, and I will always try to honor anything I tell you in session as practice in my own life. So, what happens when I am not doing all of the above?
Well, when I am not operating in my capacities as a therapist, I love spending my time with my family, gardening, doing DIY around our house, and if all my chores are done (usually even when they aren’t) I love to golf. It is where I would spend every single day if I could. I will expand on this in a future blog.
I love cooking, as does my wife. We spend a ton of time doing food and beverage-centric activities. As a service industry alum, I love a meal out or a happy hour. I love a good glass of wine and a long conversation with a friend. I love connecting with people. I love to travel, especially with family and friends. I love to share experiences with the people I adore.
I like a challenge, I like to read, and I like listening to podcasts. I collect vinyl records. I am really good at drywall. I am an excellent (albeit genetically-inclined) baker. I love sports, especially local sports.
I don’t like mushrooms, no matter how many times and different types and ways of cooking I have tried them. I don’t like wasting time. I don’t like sitting still. I don’t like crowds, and I especially detest waiting in line. I don’t like the St. Louis Cardinals but if you do I promise not to hold it against you.
I am many things. Sometimes I feel like a contradiction. But I am me, authentically, and unapologetically. I always strive to be the best version of me I can be. My calling in life is to help you do the same. This IS a huge first step, and I am here to help.
-Mark
